Happiness - How To Make It Yourself

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." So wrote Oscar Wilde, the Irish playwright and humorist. Some people seem to just have the gift of joy no matter how bad things are (which is a prerequisite for bringing happiness to others). Other people seem to have a constant case of the crummies even in favorable circumstances (which, of course, is similarly contagious). Happiness is the most universal aspiration…everybody wants to be happy (though “actual results may vary”). There are many recipes for happiness and not all have equal results. The real trouble is that many of the recipes produce seemingly beautiful outcomes which fool us for a while, but in the end turn out to be hollow, unsatisfying, flavorless puffs of nothing.

What makes a person happy?

• Smooth sailing? Not usually. A lack of problems normally just makes us complacent and ultimately ungrateful
• Self indulgence? Only in moderation (the first bite of donut brings a smile-the twentieth just a groan)
• Fame? Pleasure in public renown is the result of pride which is born of enmity (the opposite of happiness)
• Fun and entertainment? Hedonism is ultimately unsatisfying as we require ever more elaborate distractions
• Wealth? Materialism is as hollow as hedonism and for the same reasons
• Self actualization? This is often defined as “know what you want and go for it” and it is enticing, but it is also self-focused and Jesus taught that those who seek to save their lives will lose them

If none of these things will bring us permanent happiness then what is its source? 

Happiness is the result of a few simple conditions:

• Controlling expectations – this means to bloom where you’re planted. Paul said “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Phil 4:11). Happiness is more a set of attitudes than a set of circumstances. We can learn to “school our feelings”. We can also pray for a change of heart to “want what we have” more than to “have what we want”.
• Living for higher purposes outside oneself – altruism, ironically, brings greater happiness than selfishness. Service—getting outside ourselves—focusing on the needs of others is the key
• Knowing that God loves you – our natural insecurity robs us of our happiness. There is no more powerful source of security than God’s love. He know you by name—ask Him, you’ll see
• Maintaining loving relationships – these can be with anyone (e.g. spouse, children, family, friends, colleagues, even pets) for whom we are willing to give more than we take

Joseph Addison, the writer and politician, put it more succinctly:
"Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." 

Happiness is like wealth or weight-loss in that it's hard to achieve if you pursue it directly.  That's because it's an output like an egg from a chicken.  Try as you will you can't get an egg without the chicken to lay it.  However if you get a chicken, feed and water it, protect it you'll have eggs in abundance.  So it is with any desired outcome such as prosperity, weight-loss, or in this case happiness, you must pay attention to the causes if you want the effect.  The inputs of happiness include gratitude, service, humility, love etc.  When we develop those areas then happiness comes naturally.  

One final thought, happiness isn't the satisfied grin at the end of the race, it's the exhilaration we can have as we run it.  That exhilaration is usually accompanied by sweat, effort, and exhaustion.  Ironically, happiness isn't the absence of opposition, it is opposition's traveling companion.